What's Left Unsaid
by AmazingLadyBird
Summary: Morgan wakes up at 3am thanks to a call from Reid. In his hour of need, all Reid really needs is a friend. [One-shot]


**Authors Notes: Just a one-shot I couldn't get out of my head. Can be set pretty much in any season after season 2, so whatever floats your boat. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

It was three o'clock in the morning when that ringing started. Morgan did his very best to try and ignore it, figuring whoever had set their stupid alarm to go off when it was still dark out would deal with it quickly. But the ringing never stopped, and it took him longer than he was willing to admit before he realised that it wasn't an alarm at all.

He groaned and sat up in his bed, his hand automatically going towards the bedside table where he kept his phone. He hit the answer button and brought it to his ear.

"Morgan," he answered sleepily. He expected Hotch to be on the line, bringing whatever peaceful rest he had to an end.

There was no answer.

"Hello?" Morgan tried again. This time he did hear some sounds on the other end, but nothing even resembling words. There was heavy breathing and something else he couldn't quite place. Finally relenting, Morgan looked at the caller ID. It was an unrecognised number.

"Hello?" Morgan tried again. "Anybody there?"

Still no answer.

"I'm going to hang up now –"

' _Morgan?'_ was the response that finally came, in a trembling voice that was barely above a whisper, but Morgan could recognise that voice immediately.

"Reid? What the hell are you doing calling me in the middle of the night? Whose phone is this?"

' _I… uh…'_ Reid hesitated. Though he had barely said more than two words, he did not sound okay. Not at all. Morgan's heart started to race. Whatever was going on, it was bad.

' _Do you remember you said that if I ever needed anything, you were just a phone call away?'_ Reid suddenly asked.

Morgan hesitated. "Yeah, kid. I remember."

' _Did you mean that?'_

"Of course I did-"

' _No, I mean…'_ Reid paused, taking in a shaky breath. _'Did you_ really _mean that? Anything I need? Anything at all?'_

Again, Morgan hesitated. "You name it, Reid. I'll do everything I can."

No response.

"Are you in trouble? Danger? Reid, what's wrong – "

' _I need you to pick me up.'_

Any other day, any other person on the phone, Morgan might've gotten angry. He might have yelled into the phone, demanding to know why he was woken up at 3 in the morning on one of his only days off just so he could pick someone up. But this was Reid he was dealing with, and nothing about this conversation so far suggested anything normal.

"Sure," Morgan finally agreed, already getting out of bed and turning on his light. "Send me whatever address you're at and I'll come get you."

' _I don't have an exact address…'_

"Street name?" Morgan asked.

Reid hesitated.

' _Broker lane,'_ he finally answered. _'not too far off the highway.'_

Morgan paused mid stride. He knew that area. Pretty much everyone in Quantico knew that area. It was one of the first things you learned when you moved there: stay the hell away from Broker Lane. Unless you had a death wish or needed some sketchy favours, you stayed as far away from that place as humanly possible. Especially if you were someone like Reid.

"What the hell are you doing in Broker Lane?" Morgan asked incredulously.

' _I, uh…'_ Again, Reid took in a shaky breath and paused. He didn't speak again for a while and if it weren't for his shaky, intermittent breathing, Morgan would have assumed the line had gone. It took him a while, and honestly Morgan blamed his slowness due to being still half asleep, but finally it hit him.

First of all, those weren't just shaky breaths. Reid was crying. Second of all, there was a third reason someone might go to Broker Lane. _Especially_ someone like Reid. To get high.

"Kid, stay where you are, I'll come find you. I'll knock down every door I have to, if that's what it takes, okay? I'll come find you, just sit tight."

' _I'm in a phone booth,'_ Reid croaked out. _'Not too far off the bridge.'_

Morgan quickly stepped into some sweatpants and slid on some sneakers. He didn't care he was still in his pyjama top, he just grabbed his keys and quickly made his way to his car.

"Got it," he said into his phone. "Stay where you are, Reid, I'm coming for you, okay? Just hang tight –"

' _Don't hang up,'_ Reid said, suddenly finding his voice.

Morgan swung open his car door and sat in the driver's seat, slamming the door shut after him. "Kid, I don't know where you are. My cars sat nav isn't going to be able to locate some bridge in Broker Lane."

' _If you hang up I don't know if I'll be able to stay in this phone booth.'_

Morgan sat still in his car, momentarily speechless.

"Okay, give me a sec while I put you on speaker." Morgan put his phone in the holder on his dash and did as promised. Reid's heavy breathing suddenly filled the car, and Morgan sat for a moment longer in silence. "You think you'd be able to talk me through getting there?"

' _What?'_

"C'mon Reid, you must've gotten there somehow. Big ol' brain of yours, you expect me to believe you forgot how?"

Truth be told, Morgan could probably have figured out a way to find him. More than anything, he just wanted to give Reid a distraction. Make him for a moment, even if it was only a short while, forget about his problems. He wanted Reid to forget what he was craving.

' _I…. guess I could talk you through from the central bus station.'_

"Great, that's only five minutes from here," Morgan quickly put his car in ignition and pulled out of the driveway. "Stay with me, okay Reid? I'll be there soon."

Reid didn't respond. Those five minutes to the bust station was spent in almost complete silence. It was only Reids heavy, shaky breaths that reassured Morgan that he was still there. When he finally arrived at the bus station, he notified Reid, who spouted out directions as accurately and efficiently as any sat nav would have been capable of. It took another ten minutes of driving, but eventually Morgan was able to make out a bridge in the distance. As he got closer, he was able to make out a phone booth further beyond that. Morgan pulled up next to it and was able to notice a figure inside who turned to look out. The figure hung up the phone and opened the door. Morgan did the same.

Morgan quickly looked Reid up and down. It was practically freezing outside, they were expecting snow any day now, and yet Reid was dressed in a single oversized sweater, some old trousers, and nothing else. No shoes, no socks, nothing. His eyes were red, no doubt from all the crying, and his sleeves were rolled up to reveal fresh scratches on the inside of his elbows, some of which actually drew blood. Whatever small semblance of a doubt Morgan had before was quickly thrown away. Reid was craving, and it was bad.

Morgan guided Reid to the passenger seat, opening the door and helping him in. If Reid had an issue with the over-protectiveness, he didn't say anything. Morgan closed the door and made his way to the driver side. As he climbed in, he noticed that Reid hadn't moved. He was simply staring straight ahead. So, Morgan quickly grabbed his seatbelt and clipped him in. he quickly did the same for himself and made his way back home, far too eager to get the hell out of that neighbourhood.

The drive was spent mostly in silence. Morgan didn't want to push the younger agent just yet, not when he was already so clearly deep in thought. He would wait until Reid was more relaxed to start asking questions. It definitely wasn't something he was willing to let wait until morning.

When they arrived at Morgan's house, Reid looked almost surprised to not be back at his own home. But he quickly shrugged it off, undid his seatbelt and climbed out of his car. Morgan was quick to follow him, as the two of them made their way to the door. Morgan let them both in, and Reid didn't say anything when Morgan locked the door and kept the key with him. He led the younger man into the living room and sat him down next to the heater. It was of course only then that Reid realised how cold he was. He couldn't help the shiver the crept down his spine and he gently placed his hands on the heater. Morgan momentarily left the room and returned with a blanket.

"This is what happens when you leave the house in practically freezing weather," he said as he handed Reid the blanket.

"I wasn't planning on being out that long," was Reid's only defence. He wrapped the blanket around him self and allowed another shiver to escape.

"And how long were you out for?" Morgan asked.

Reid paused as he though about it. "About four hours," he answered at last.

Morgan stared at him. "Did you walk from your house all the way to Broker Lane?"

"Yeah…"

"Barefoot?!"

"I didn't mean to…"

"How do you not mean to walk for _four hours_?! Especially barefoot?! Especially in this cold dressed like _that_?!"

"I didn't know where I was going," Reid said in a small voice. He looked down. "I certainly didn't realise what I was after. Not until I was there."

Reid shifted under the blanket. Though Morgan couldn't see exactly what he was doing under it, he knew the young genius had rolled up his sleeve again and started to scratch his elbow. That action was all it took to make Morgan remember that yelling wouldn't help. While he wanted to grab the kid's hand and stop him by force from scratching until he bled, he knew that would only scare Reid into silence.

"I just needed to get some fresh air," Reid continued. "I felt so nauseous, the room was spinning, and I was in so much pain… the most pain I've ever been in in my life; and I've been in a lot of pain before. I just needed to step outside and get some fresh air. Once I was out, I just started walking. And I kept walking, taking turns as and when I felt like it. I just kept walking. I didn't realise where I was or where I was heading, I just walked. It wasn't until I saw the bridge that I realised."

"And let me guess, you forgot your phone at home?"

Reid nodded in response.

"My first thought was 'good. I won't get interrupted. No one would be able to track me down.'" Reid confessed. "The fact that that was the first thought to enter my mind scared the hell out of me. I didn't want to go down that road, not again, not after everything… "

"So you saw that phone booth and cooped yourself up in there." Morgan pieced together.

Reid nodded.

"What happened, Reid?" Morgan asked at last. "What pain were you talking about?"

Reid shut his eyes tightly. "I don't want to talk about it," he muttered. "If I talk about it, it becomes real."

"I think we need to talk about it. Last thing we want is for you to end up on another one of those walks. The phone booth might not look as appealing next time."

Reid managed a single exhale of amusement at the image Morgan painted. That tiny semblance of a smile disappeared almost immediately after and turned into a painful grimace. He opened his eyes, fresh tears filling his eyes.

"My mom died…" he said at last, his tears spilling over and rolling down his cheeks. He looked at Morgan's face, who was a fraction of a second too late to hide his shocked and heartbroken reaction. Reid just nodded. "Pneumonia," he explained.

"Reid, I'm so –"

"Did you know that one of the side effects of antipsychotic medication is a decrease in immune function making you more prone to infections?"

"No, I didn't."

"Yeah, well…" Reid shrugged. His frown deepened and his lip trembled.

Suddenly Reid ducked his head down and the sobs rocked through his body. Morgan wasted no time. He ran to the younger man and pulled him into a tight hug. Reid wrapped his arms around him and cried into his shoulder.

"It's my fault!" Reid cried. "I put her there! She never wanted to be in that hospital, I forced her!"

"Hey, Reid, none of this was your fault," Morgan tried to reason. "You couldn't have possibly taken care of her full time."

"I could've," Reid countered. "And I _should_ 've! I was just being selfish!".

"Hey, stop that," Morgan pulled away and gripped Reid's shoulders tightly. "Listen to me. This was _not_ your fault, okay? Your mom needed constant care. You couldn't have feasibly provided that while also caring for yourself _and_ getting financial security. You had no choice."

Reid shook his head. "I should have helped her…"

"You _did_ help her, Reid. She was able to get the care she needed because of you. You made it possible for her to live a good life. You saw all the postcards she sent, all the places she was able to visit. Just because she was in a hospital doesn't mean she wasn't able to live."

"I should have been there more," Reid croaked. "I should have spent more time with her…"

Morgan stared at his friend, nodding in understanding. He knew that feeling. He let go of Reid and sat down next to him.

"Tell me about it," he said at last. "I can't tell you how many times I thought that about my old man. All those hours I spent playing some stupid game instead of with my dad… they haunted me for years. It was time that I could have been spending with him, and instead I wasted it. I just had to keep reminding myself that my dad knew how much I loved him. I may not have said it often enough, and I may have wasted some precious time, but he knew.

"He knew because of all those nights I tried to stay up late enough to see him come home, only to fall asleep on the couch. He knew because of all those times he caught me wearing his police hat pretending to be an officer. He knew because of how proud I was to be his son. And I'm sure your mom knew too. Be it from how you took care of her from the age of ten, or how you wrote to her _daily_ , or how you go above and beyond to get her the care she needs… trust me, kid. She knew."

Reid was quiet as he thought. Morgan didn't say anything, he just wrapped an arm around his close friend and squeezed his shoulder. They sat like that for a while, neither uttering a word, until finally Reid spoke.

"I miss her," he said. "and it hurts so much knowing I'll never get to see her again."

"Not gonna lie kid, it'll keep hurting for a while. But eventually, you'll be able to look back on all your memories of her with a smile on your face."

"That seems impossible right now."

"Yeah… well, whenever it feels impossible, I don't care if the feeling strikes you at 3am on a holiday, you call. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Good."

Actions speak louder than words. Reid always felt that way, he did. Ever since he was a boy and kids would apologise for their teasing or bullying as soon as he became useful to them. Their apologies meant nothing to him, they were just words after all. So yes, Reid had always thought that actions spoke louder than words, but for the first time he starts to realise that this applies to love as well. Leaving something unsaid doesn't mean it wasn't felt. And it doesn't always mean that it was unknown.

Actions speak louder than words. His mother, of course, knew how much he loved her. He idolised her growing up, he cherished those moments when she would read to him and he was never ashamed to boast about how smart his mother was. He may not have visited as often as he wanted to, but he wrote and told her stories the filler her with pride and joy. He may not have helped as often as he liked, but he would listen and hang on to her every word, whether it was advice, recounting her day, or idle chit chat. He may not have said it, but she knew. A mother knows.

Actions speak louder than words.

"Hey Morgan?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for picking me up."

"Of course."

They left it unsaid.


End file.
